This could have been a lot harder than I thought it'd be. This could have taken a lot more heartache, but I guess I never let it get that far...it was short lived, for what it's worth. Surprisingly, all the emotions I thought that would come haven't. I mean, it has been hard with probably every guy I liked, but not him. I got nothing, nothing but a smile of relief. It's probably because it was so easy to do. The idea that I can just let go like that of something I knew never would exist, just makes me much more collected. I'm happy knowing that I was able to finally get rid of this...I've been talking about it for months. I call this "letting go of the untrustworthy."
The feeling when I realized that my eyes were closed to these people was unbearable. I didn't realize I had so many people I considered friends become that untrustworthy. It's okay though. I weeded out the bad ones. I've got two major best friends now, and they've been through everything and I have been through everything with them. They both make me better myself, they make me want to smile all the time, and I don't even have to be intoxicated to have a good time with them.
These two people have seen me for me. Not what everyone else says I am. And because of this, I don't lie to them, I don't treat them like shit, I don't use them. It's because they believe I'm a good person, I have no reason to be sneaky or fabricate things. I have nothing to hide behind. I'm myself. I don't expect anyone to get this except those two.
They will always be the two that make me fall asleep smiling and/or laughing. They will be the two that make me want to wake up in the morning and get things done! I'm so happy for all they've accomplished, and I hope to hear that one day they are happy with all that I've accomplished. I want to grow with them in all aspects. I'm just happy they both are in my life. I lost him for a while, but he's back now and my heart is full again.
It was weird though how I thought it was someone else filling it, when in all honesty it wasn't that person, it was my friend that I had just missed for so long filling in the gaps again.
I love you two so much you couldn't possibly understand. I know you'll never take me for granted, say I'm obsessed with you, feel like I lie to you, or distrust my actions. I'll always be here...and I'll always be genuine. Trust me. :)
Now let's save up for that backpacking through Europe trip next Spring Break!!!
- The Adventure: